Master Plan - Financials

Financial planning at this point in time is really like gambling. In fact, that's what it is ... one big casino. A while back, I stated in the "blog" that I was ready to put every last dime of my life savings into the stock market. Did I follow through? No, I am not a gambling fool. Instead, I have keep all of my assets, albeit liquid, in very conservative money market and bond funds.

Typical Liquid Hottie

There is no doubt in my mind, though, that interest rates will never rise above zero percent in my lifetime, at least in empire. Why? Well, there is just no way that the empire can service its huge $17+ trillion debt if interest rates were to even rise by one percentage point per annum.

In the meantime, we can expect the empire and the thieves on Wall Street to find new and imaginative ways to steal our money and assets. Take ObamaScare, for example. Also, note the "asset recovery" and "ten-year lookback" provisions for certain medical entitlement programs. We must find ways to protect or hide assets, especially if the senior citizen years are right around the bend.

With that said, I have not established any financial policies as of this date. Liquid assets are neither being moved or spent. I have, of course, looked into precious metals, not as an investment, but as a hidden store of assets. Word has it, though, that gold can now be confiscated in the event of an empire emergency. Thus, any precious metals purchase must be done with vendors who do not maintain any records of transactions. And, I have been told that a 9mm semi-automatic handgun will necessary for security purposes (i.e., protect the precious metals).

Something is going down as we speak. The oligarchs of empire have made the decision to engage both China and the Russian Federation in a game of brinkmanship. The endgame is war, thermonuclear war. I have discussed the scenario in the old "blog" previously. The war planners are expecting limited nuclear engagement, just enough to reduce the population and shuffle the global power structure, but not enough to cause a "Nuclear Winter." For the oligarchs to consider such a foolish plan, there must be something terribly awry in empire.

Slob Manor (Read: Rental Housing) Mini-Update®
Hard as it may be to believe, the idiotic 31-year-old "chef" is following through with his plan to become a wealthy male escort ... errr, massage therapist. He is taking classes at the community college. How he came up with the $6,680 tuition for the eleven-month program is ... Heck, can you say, "Parental support"? What a maroon!

Surveillance Mini-Update®
Is the Google® surveillance robot still hanging around? Is the sky blue? Is my homeless buddy really homeless? Is the ol' lavahead a "terrorist"?

Saga of the Water Flosser

Usual Hawai'i Kai visit (always on Monday and Friday). Moms and I ate lunch at the Panda Express® as usual. I ordered entrées with more vegetables, attempting to be healthy and all. That's not including the fresh vegetables that moms prepares and brings along.

Of course, we had to shop at Longs® because that's what all the senior citizens do. Moms always runs into a lot of other senior citizens whom she knows. Fortunately for me, the Waterpik® products were on sale. Very timely, eh? So, I purchased a top-of-the-line model to replace the dysfunctional unit. Then, moms and I shopped at the only supermarket in the entirety of Hawai'i Kai.

Typical Waterpik® Hottie

Later, I ended up at the gym for my usual Monday workout. By the way, I have been struggling to complete my revised 50-minute cardio workouts. Pathetic considering that I used to take three aerobics classes in a row in the old days. When I checked my weight on the digital scale after the cardio session, I was stunned to see that my weight was 140 pounds (wearing gym attire). Just last Friday, I weighed in at 143 pounds. Whoa, Nellie!

At the start of my evening outing in Kahala, I donated the old Waterpik® unit to charity. Then, I decided to eat dinner at the fast food joint. Never mind that yesterday found me dining at two different fast food joints as I always do on Sunday. Long story short, I ordered two greasy "value menu" items and a medium-sized vanilla milkshake. Well, hey! I'm shrinking! I need to consume more junk food.

All that to say ... I highly recommend that everyone procure a Waterpik® appliance and use it religiously. Your teeth and gums will love you for it. Your dentist will thank you. That reminds me, I have a dentist appointment on Wednesday. Sheesh!

Well, April has been a very expensive month. Automobile registration ($360), wireless speaker ($150), Waterpik® flosser ($45), and probably about $130 for the dentist. Oh well.

Homeless Buddy Mini-Update®
My homeless buddy will apparently be requiring foot surgery for both feet. Thus, he will need the motorized wheelchair. He has applied for a rental unit in Chinatown. It is not low-income housing, but the rent for a furnished room is $425 per month. He has urged me to apply for a rental unit there as well.

Saga of the Wireless Speaker

On Friday, my evening outing objective was to be the purchase of the Bose® SoundLink® Mini at the fruit-based computer store (an authorized Bose® reseller) in the den of consumerism (read: shopping mall) in Kahala. I was about the purchase the item in question with my sole credit card when I was asked for an identification (ID) card. Say what? No ID, no merchandise, I was told. Okay, see you snobs later!

Typical Audiophile Hottie

Of course, I could have just waited until the next morning and made the trek to the Bose® showroom. However, I walked over to the Radio Shack® store, a place that is always completely empty. Overpriced, questionable merchandize, and no brand recognition. Yet, I ended up purchasing an Auvio® wireless speaker. I have a pair of $9 Auvio® earbuds, probably the best sounding earbuds at any price. So, when I listened to the floor model, I was quite impressed. The unit is fairly large and heavy, by the way. It is not battery powered, thank goodness. So, it's not a portable wireless speaker. I purchased the device for $150 with my credit card and no ID.

Upon returning to Slob Manor (read: rental housing), I unpacked the device. I discovered that it was previously opened. That's probably why it was a "clearance" item. Who cares? I am now less likely to obsess over keeping it meticulous. Once paired with the Nexus 7 tablet computer, it provided excellent sound in my squalid room. The bass is quite amazing. And, the damned thing gets real loud. I have been enjoying a House Music marathon since then. Yeah, one-man house party, just like the old days.

Typical House Party Hottie

Why did I waste money on another wireless speaker? Oh, I don't know. In a few years, I may not have much of my hearing left, so I may as well enjoy it while I can. I will probably be downloading a few flicks via bit-torrent, and the wireless speaker will provide me with the poor man's "home theater" experience. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaa!

Ol' Lavahead Mini-Update®
My essential appliance, the Waterpik® flosser, has developed a leak in the nozzle handle. The device appears serviceable, so a replacement part may be available. Otherwise, a new unit will be necessary. More expenses. Was the wireless speaker a prudent purchase after all?

Surveillance Mini-Update®
The ridiculous Google® automated surveillance drone is still at it. What is the plan? Who is the "terrorist"?

Master Plan - Constraints

In developing a senior citizen "master plan" for myself, I must consider the various constraints. In the world of science and engineering, the numerous constraints are mathematically derived. In the world of humans, constraints can be both real and imagined. My first goal is to eliminate the imaginary constraints. So, here are the constraints that I have verified as real:

Eyesight. The eyes will grow weaker with age. In my case, my eyes are already a disability, so I can only expect my vision to worsen. Astigmatism and cataracts may also present themselves.

Hearing. Hearing will most certainly weaken. The ability to detect lower sound pressure levels and frequencies at the extremely ends of the audio spectrum will only diminish. Say, now is the time to procure the Bose® SoundLink® wireless speaker, eh?

Mental Capacity. The human brain physically shrinks as we age. If dementia is present, the shrinkage and deterioration is further accelerated. There are method to circumvent the deterioration by promoting "dendrite sprouting." That's why senior citizens are seen working vigorously on boring crossword puzzles. The ol' lavahead has vowed not to join the party.

Musculoskeletal. Physical deterioration will be most pronounced and will occur in rapid succession. Muscle tone and muscle mass will decrease with age. Bones will shrink, bend with gravity, and become brittle. Skin elasticity and hair pigmentation will disappear. Joints will become stiff and arthritic. Motor coordination will be non-existent. The spinal column will compress and shorten the torso. Of course, the first major milestone will be the natural deprecation of the Vienna Sausage.

Internal Organs. The various internal organs of humans will deteriorate with old age. Cancer, organ failure, and increased susceptibility to diseases will be common threats.

Mobility. All of the preceding constraints will affect mobility, not only the ability to transport oneself locally but also the ability to relocate to more distant locations.

The aforementioned constraints will exponentially increase in magnitude with respect to age. At nearly 60 years old, I am now at the gateway to decrepitude. I can expect minor increases in constraints until 65 years of age. After that, each additional year will will bring the potential for rapid degeneration. The mortality timetable is very unforgiving.

My exact time location on the mortality timetable will determine my life-style (e.g., my remaining tenure at the gym and the type of workouts, my ability to purchase and appreciate useful and useless possessions, my ability to operate a motor vehicle, and so forth). And, given family antecedents including pops and my blood uncles, I have about 20 years remaining. Please refer to the "blog" posting of March 19th titled, "Thoughts on Life Expectancy."

Typical "Good Years" Hotties

I assume that I have five "good years" left in which I can maintain my life-style and activities with negligible changes. If I am fortunate, I can possibly achieve seven "good years." Unfortunately, the Vienna Sausage will most likely be totally dysfunctional within three years. Well, no need to worry about babes anymore. No more hurdy-gurdy videos either. So, the Vienna Sausage will be the first geriatric casualty.

After the "good years" are spent, there will essentially be no need for me acquire anything beyond the basic necessities. Bad eyesight and poor hearing negates the need for technology toys. Owning and driving a motor vehicle will no longer be possible. Stylish clothes will be a big joke. Long story short ... if I have any inclination toward rampant materialism, then I only have five years to fulfill my desires.

And, don't believe the hype about the "Golden Years." There's no such thing. Sure, there are active 80-year-old senior citizens. I see them at the gym every day. Believe me, the term "active" is purely subjective. For the most part, "active" senior citizens can more readily be seen purchasing numerous bottles of cheap booze at the local supermarket ... denial of death in action!

Homeless Buddy Mini-Update®
My homeless buddy is still up to his old tricks. He has ordered a luxury motorized chair which will be mostly subsidized by entitlements. He will still be paying $1,100 for it. He is also attempting to rent a low-income unit in Chinatown for $450 per month. He is putting off his colon cancer surgery until he can find housing. Aside from that, he has signed on with even more "free" services that are available for the homeless.

Uncle Mike

Uncle Mike (moms' side of the family) was always my favorite uncle. I had first met him when I was quite young. He was a hermit living in a truly rural area on the Big Island. Moms and I had visited his hermitage for a few days. There was no running water or electricity in the hermit shack. Light was provided by kerosene lanterns. Rain water was stored in a tank outside. And, there was an old-fashioned outhouse with no sewage lines.

Uncle Mike refused to move out of the hermitage even under extreme familial pressure. Eventually, though, he suffered some kind of mental breakdown. He could no longer speak. He somehow found his way to Hilo town and passed a hand-scribbled note to a local shopkeeper requesting help. Long story short, my uncle ended up in the Kane'ohe State Hospital, the only facility for the clinically insane. As I recall, he went through Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT), which is rarely deployed anymore.

Uncle Mike was never the same after the ordeal. He was also a chain smoker of cigarettes. Thus, he ended up succumbing to emphysema. I had previously wrote of Uncle Mike's legacy in the old journal, so I will not belabor the point any further.

Typical Silent Hottie

Now, I find myself having great difficulty in conversing with people. Actually, I don't want to talk. I don't want to hear other people flapping their lips. And, I don't want to hear myself speak. Silence is golden, I keep telling myself. Am I consciously following in the footsteps of Uncle Mike?

Well, I came to the startling realization that my current gym attire will probably last through my remaining tenure at the gym. I'm thinking that I will probably be "good to go" for another three to five years. After that, I will only be wasting time and money. I should be well on my way to decrepitude by then.

I seem to have not grasped the fact that I may have only 20 more years to live. Whether I live longer or not is irrelevant. My last ten or so years will be tortuous. How can anyone tolerate decrepitude or senility? You may have noticed that I have not yet unveiled the "master plan" in the "blog." Yeah, there isn't one. I have yet to come up with anything viable. Sheesh!

Slob Manor (Read: Rental Housing) Mini-Update®
Alan has been in Arizona, allegedly at his "McMansion," for seven weeks now. The length of time seems extraordinary. He's never been away that long. I don't believe that he paid the Slob Manor rent for this month either. At his age, I suspect that Alan is totally incapacitated, or he's dead.

Thoughts on Everything

Last night, I procured a bowl of soup and a free tuna sandwich at the sandwich shop in Kahala. Subsequently, I walked next door (with the food) to the fast food joint and purchased a "value" menu yogurt parfait. I then consumed the entire meal in the dining room of the fast food joint.

A few minutes into the dinner extravaganza, I espied Reggie, the confirmed derelict, sitting at a table nearby. He had brought some kind of canned food with him. He was eating its contents straight out of the can. A cup of water and a plastic spoon was courtesy the fast food joint. Of course, I am not ridiculing Reggie for eating canned food. I spent years eating mostly canned food, and now possibly suffering from endocrine disruption due to the plastic-lined cans. But, I digress.

Typical Vortex Hottie

There is now a whole class of people like Reggie. Most of them are homeless, but quite a few are not. They have no future. Why? As the empire moves rapidly to an oligopolistic state, there will be few "winners" and myriad losers. The ranks of losers is already swelling, but its numbers are sure to continue increasing. I, myself, am gradually being sucked into the vortex.

In the meantime, I continue to remain vigilant and resistant to the temptations that can rapidly reduce me to a Reggie-like life-style. Yet, how will I manage as I become a decrepit (and helpless) senior citizen? Who or what will protect me from a decaying society?

Mike Ruppert, author of the book, "Crossing the Rubicon," committed suicide earlier this week. "Rubicon" was one of the first books that got me started on a multi-year research project that delved into current affairs, conspiracy theories, politics, economics, finance, religion, world history, cosmology, quantum physics, genetics, evolution, and so forth. Wayne Madsen has composed the best eulogy (posted on the Intrepid Report site).

I have been viewing a few mainstream flicks via bit-torrent downloads. What a wasteland! Even in a state of extreme boredom, I can barely entertain myself with most of the fodder. Yet, most people seem to be addicted to flicks and pathetic tube programs. I can safely say that hurdy-gurdy videos (read: "pr0n") are so much better ... well, as long as the Vienna Sausage is still functional. I take that back. Most of the hurdy-gurdy videos are pretty bad (i.e., poor video quality, bad editing, horrendous camera work) as well. About one in a hundred video clips is a "keeper."

In my day-to-day observations, I have found that a good majority of people are spending a lot of time staring at small rectangular screens (i.e., "smartphones," computers, tablet computers, portable game consoles). Then, at home (if they have a place of residence), they spend lots of time staring at a big rectangular screen. There just isn't much quality content. So, why waste time on that crap? Seems that our lives are becoming so rote, so mundane, that we need to escape to a virtual world of excitement. Of course, what can we expect in an oligopolistic state?

My observations have also focused on the myriad senior citizens in my vicinity. I see the everywhere ... on the bus, at the various dens of consumerism (read: shopping malls), at the gym, at the various fast food joints. Senior citizenry is not "golden." Rather, it is a "living hell," what with the decrepitude and all. Yet, people continue to reproduce in insane numbers. Everyone must grow old, become decrepit, and face the horror of death. The curse of consciousness plagues all humans. It is best for the human species to go extinct.

"Vlogging" (i.e., video "blogging") is apparently the latest trend. From what I am to understand, the "vlog" has already displaced the traditional "blog." Unfortunately, the ol' lavahead will not be moving to the "vlog" format. Instead, his "blog" will slowly fade into oblivion. Thank you very much.

Slob Manor (Read: Rental Housing) Mini-Update®
The 31-year-old "chef" appears to have acquired a small financial fortune. His rent payment, yoga studio membership, and pure organic groceries amount to far more than he earns per month as a substitute teacher. There is no doubt that his parents have paid off his $50,000 student loan debt in full and have given him additional spending money. Incidentally, that's why the fucktard has to do a load of laundry every day. He's washing his one-and-only yoga outfit. So, what is the fool really up to?

Kane'ohe Revisited

I was on my way to Kane'ohe on the bus at 9:30am this morning. I was attempting to enjoy a cup of coffee at the fast food joint in town. However, my solitude was once again disturbed by the retired friend of my homeless buddy. He's a nice enough guy, but I really don't want to spend an hour or so talking with him about topics that I could care less about. Are people really that lonely?

Typical Kane'ohe Hottie

I was only in Kane'ohe for about 30 minutes, just enough time to do some quick shopping at the den of consumerism (read: shopping mall). I actually enjoyed the excursion. I purchased a couple of bare necessity clothing items at the Sears® store. All of my clothing purchases are "just in time" (JIT).

The bus ride gave me an opportunity to make up for the earlier sacrificed solitude. I spent the time in contemplation of the game plan for my final "good" years (e.g., How long will I continue working out at the gym? When will I commence wearing authentic senior citizen attire? When will I convert my conventional shades to the "snorkel mask" sunglasses that are popular with old codgers?).

Thoughts on Material Possessions

I have never neglected to mention that I am an acetic, a mendicant monk, and a pauper. As a consequence, I have divested nearly all of my material possessions. Most of the were useless, redundant, or both. I wasn't always that way. At one time, I was an active participant in the "ownership society." I wasted way too much money, only to learn that "ownership" of "property" is just another aspect of what Ernest Becker called the "vital lie."

Typical Materialistic Hottie

The real problem with "ownership" is that it implies permanence, immortality. Neither exists. So, we acquire "property" only to learn the lesson the hard way. Once a possession is acquired, it is on the inventory list for a lifetime. When the possession is beyond repair or obsolete, it is replaced. And, we always continue to add to the inventory rather than subtract from it. Soon, there are myriad possessions that must be maintained and replaced. The utility of the possession is eventually nullified by the eventual enslavement of the "owner."

"Ownership" becomes a pathological problem when the need to "own" becomes insatiable. The pathology can be attributed to our failed attempts to separate ourselves from other animals. Well, that's the problem. We don't want to be animals. We want to be a special entity called "humans." Unfortunately, humans grow old and eventually die, just like other animals.

Old age and decrepitude is akin to wisdom, albeit forced. Once we lose our youth, we come to understand that nothing is permanent. "Ownership" is quickly exposed as a fraud. Our possessions become a burden and a vehicle of enslavement. We long to be free, emancipated, in our remaining lifetime before death liberates us eternally. Yes, only death is forever.

Speak! Mini-Update®
Good to see that our old friend Mista Bumpy is back with us here (via comments). Just like the good ol' days, eh?

Surveillance Mini-Update®
The automated surveillance robot is still continuing its nefarious task of monitoring the activities of the "blog." So tiring, so boring, so trivial. Ho hum.

Curse or Blessing?

Have you ever noticed that old codgers never look at babes? That's even more true for young hotties. There could be a bevy of young hotties, clad in skimpy outfits, all traipsing about, but none of the old codgers in the vicinity would even glance in their direction. The curse of testosterone depletion!

Typical Scantily-Clad Hotties

Well, maybe it's not a curse. There's no way that an old codger could "hook up" with a young hottie (or any babe, for that matter), short of being a billionaire, so becoming an eunuch is a blessing in disguise. Noticing young hotties would only cause infinite frustration and, worst yet, a painful reminder of mortality.

The ol' lavahead is rapidly approaching eunuch status. The intermittent Vienna Sausage is signaling the depletion of testosterone. Once total dysfunction occurs ... game over!

Stylish Underwear

On Sunday morning, while enjoying a cup of coffee at the fact food joint in town, I observed a young Asian babe with bleached blond hair sitting at one of the tables outside. She was wearing jeans with a tight top. Her behavior, however, was strange. And, she was talking to herself. I suspected that baby was recently made homeless. The stress of living on the streets was obviously too much.

Later, after my workout at the gym, I returned to the fast food joint for a greasy "value menu" snack. Ahead of me was a young Asian babe, once again attractive. Baby was involved in some kind of miscommunication with the manager on duty. Every now and the, she looked over at me. I suspected that she, too, was homeless. Her face betrayed fatigued, which meant that she has been living on the streets for well over a month.

Both of the homeless babes looked out of place and extremely vulnerable, unlike the "hardbody" homeless babe that I observed on Saturday. I am certain that all of them were victims of various circumstances that abruptly evicted them from a previously "mainstream" life-style. All three babes are testimony to the financial upheaval that is affecting the rank-and-file populace in Hawai'i.

Typical Stylish Hottie

A couple of months ago, I purchased stylish brief underwear (box of five) from the ubiquitous discount clothes store. I have never worn them. Guys my age don't wear stylish underwear. We stick to the old, boring standard. Stylish clothes look ridiculous on old codgers, even underwear. In addition, the stylish underwear does not fit in with my workouts at the gym. No explanation necessary.

The Vienna Sausage has recently tested as intermittent. I suspect that its total dysfunction is closer than I had expected. Naturally, the Vienna Sausage is a barometer of testosterone. Once my testosterone depletes, I will experience rapid degeneration of common male attributes, the most obvious being muscle mass and tone. Resistance workouts with weights have helped to stave off the inevitable. However, I am living on borrowed time.

With physical degradation imminent, I have decided to mummify the use of whey protein powder and any other supplements that are commonly used by gym "meatheads." Old codgers should only consume the geriatric equivalent that is available at most pharmacies. I will most likely rely upon yogurt and yogurt-like products from now on.

Finally, I have been contemplating the acquisition of a Skype® number for $5 per month as opposed to giving in and purchasing a cellphone with a no-contract service. No decision yet.

Slob Manor (Read: Rental Housing) Mini-Update®
The arrogant "chef" now occupies two parking spaces on the rockpile with his "piece of shit" automobile. And, he now parks his vehicle right in the center, like some kind of royalty. Long story short ... upon returning from my usual Hawai'i Kai visit recently, I discovered that the asswipe had parked his vehicle about two feet into my space. So, I parked my truck in the landlord's reserved spot. I've been parking there ever since.