Return of the Mummy

I ran into Ann this morning in Hawai'i Kai. She is usually alighting the bus just after I board it at the previous stop. So, we have just a short time to chat. I told Ann that I was edging toward homelessness. She mentioned that the rental market has been tight and monthly rents have increased significantly. No surprise.

Typical Market Hottie

I restored my extreme monk haircut once I arrived in town. I am now cognizant of every activity that I am engaged in and how homelessness will affect the latter. Needless to say, the homeless life-style will be extremely challenging.

Typical " Loose Ends" Hottie

At this point in time, I am reviewing all of my thoughts and ruminations. I would like to "tie up any loose ends." However, I really cannot identify any topic that has not been covered somewhere in the "blog" or old journal.

Silence, Little Lamb!

Thus, the "blog" will be mummified at any time. And, that's regardless of the homeless situation. Notice will be short and abrupt. Then, the social media conduit will "go live."

Addendum. Aside from the earlier declared social media conduit, a new social media conduit has been acquired. Apparently, some clown had set up a Twitter® account using the ol' lavahead's e-mail address. The account (renamed to @tralfazlavahead) has been hijacked by the ol' lavahead. So, there are two available social media conduits now.

Mission Creep

As the day of homelessness creeps ever closer, I find myself falling into the same trap that plagues most of the homeless. That is, despair. Homelessness is not fun. And, because of the malignant "ownership society," there are few public venues available. Thus, most of the homeless spend all day at the main branch of the public library in town.

Typical Pastime Hottie

Loitering is the only pastime of the homeless. Loitering, of course, is only an issue when every place is considered private property. When I join the ranks of the homeless, I will be spending most of my time loitering since I don't plan to spend money foolishly on paid venues.

Typical Essence Hottie

One aspect of homelessness that even the homeless don't realize is that real freedom is at hand. The whole human "soul" of a homeless person is on full display. Vulnerability is at the forefront. Mortality looms in the background. The entire essence of human existence is laid bare.

Typical Intervention Hottie

Obviously, unlike the homeless, I do still have the option to change my mind, at least for a few more months. Yet, the end result will be the same. Barring any intervention by a "savior," I will end up homeless anyway.

Typical "Savior" Hottie

By the way, I am still suffering from the "conk" on the head a few weeks ago. Although I liked my previous automobile, it quickly lost its favor after the incident (refer to the "blog" post of November 10th).

Jean Michaels

And, today marked the debut of hurdy-gurdy hottie Jean Michaels. Unfortunately, downloading of hurdy-gurdy video clips has been mummified in anticipation of homelessness. Baby is a real hottie, though.

Welcome Home(less)!

I finally connected with my homeless buddy this afternoon in town. I disclosed to him that I have acquired the homeless motorhome (read: minivan). My homeless buddy was elated. As I have mentioned numerous times, my homeless buddy is probably the only homeless person who seems to truly enjoy homelessness.

Typical Scientific Hottie

Long story short, homeless buddy said that I can park the homeless motorhome overnight on the same side street that he and his posse have set up "camp." My homeless buddy is eager to "show me the ropes." He has homelessness down to a science.

Silence, Little Lamb!

So, there you have it. Full-scale preparations must commence now. Obviously, that means the switch to the social media conduit is inevitable.

Homeless Quest

As the days count down to homelessness, there should be a short tribute to the homeless motorhome (read: minivan). That is, the Nissan® Quest S basic minivan.

Nissan® Quest S Front View

The Quest S is probably the cheapest minivan available across all lines. It is, however, fairly large, weighing in at 4,300 pounds. So far, the petrol mileage of the behemoth has been fairly impressive. I am averaging 20.5 miles per gallon. Compare that to the Nissan® Cube, which weighs significantly less but achieves about 28 miles per gallon on average. Of course, I am driving the minivan like an old codger would.

Nissan® Quest S Rear View

The external trim is minimal with very little fake chrome. There are no alloy wheels that need to be polished regularly, just steel rims with plastic wheel covers. The entire exterior of the Quest S screams, "Budget!"

Nissan® Quest S Cockpit

The interior is fairly plush. Seats are comfortable. Lots of storage areas. No power sliding doors. No powered rear hatch. No power seats. No extreme sound system. As with all of the Quest models, the second and third row seating fold flat, perfect for sleeping. Sadly, no tinted rear windows.

Nissan® Quest S Rear Seating

The Nissan® Quest S minivan is the perfect homeless motorhome.

Smoke

The landlord commenced barbecuing at 5am this morning. I was rudely awakened at 6am by the smell of smoke, which filled the entire Waimanalo rental studio. The odor will linger for several days. Obviously, everything inside the rental studio will absorb the odor.

Typical Management Hottie

Well, I have tentatively decided to purchase a $225 one-month reserved parking pass for the open parking lot near the Aloha Tower. As you may recall, Butch's daughter is employed by the management firm. So, that will most likely be my overnight parking arrangement.

Typical Overnight Hottie

I will investigate other overnight parking venues once I join the ranks of the motorhomeless. If anything looks better, then I will change my commitment. Or, I could rotate between different parking venues every month.

Typical Commitment Hottie

There really are no other options. I can dive into homelessness now, or I can wait a few more months until the landlord requests that I move out of the rental studio. The end result will be the same.

Typical Social Media Hottie

No point in waiting and wasting more money on a dead-end situation. So, I will be moving ahead with appropriate acquisitions and divestitures. Thus, the days of the "blog" are winding down. Yes, we'll be moving on to the social media conduit.

Social Media (Continued)

Well, I returned to the rental studio in Waimanalo this evening only to discover that the squalid little mausoleum was filled with smoke from the gas barbecue just about ten feet outside one of my windows. I am attempting to air out the place as we speak. Yet another reason to expedite the motorhomeless process.

Typical Social Media Hottie

The social media conduit apparently is not world viewable as I was led to believe. Only registered social media users can view content. I would have chosen another venue had I known. Unfortunately, the other venues required that I disclose my cellphone number. Not going to happen.

Typical New Year Hottie

Very little progress being made on the motorhomeless front, sad to say. I am "dragging my feet" again. Time is rapidly running out. I expect to be fully homeless by the first of the new year.

Typical Young Hottie

Incidentally, I have observed a handful of homeless motorhomes (read: minivans), usually dilapidated, parked along the highway by Waimanalo Beach as I drive my homeless motor home to Hawai'i Kai in the morning.

Social Media

Little progress is being made as homelessness looms in the background. Primarily, I need a safe and near-permanent overnight parking spot. Cost is not a problem. In comparison, a studio rental in town would command between $1,200 and $1,500 per month on average. But, I digress.

Typical Social Media Hottie

By the way, there appears to be some kind of permalink available for the ol' lavahead's social media conduit. Once again, the account has been set to full public mode, so all content should be visible to anyone.

Typical "Blog" Hottie

Social media conduits, by the way, are no substitute for a "blog." With the end of the "blog" anticipated, there should be some clarification. There will be no "blog"-like content presented in social media. Thus, content will essentially be of the "small talk" variety.

Typical "Small Talk" Hottie

With that said, I believe that I have adequately covered my position on all issues in the "blog." Being an old codger, I seriously doubt that there will be any major changes in opinion now or in the limited future. So, once again, "small talk" will be the focus.

Typical Young Hottie

Naturally, everyone is probably wondering about the continuation of the embedded pictures of young hotties. If those pictures can be uploaded and featured, then the answer is affirmative. In fact, that may be all that gets posted to the social media conduit.

Typical Deflection Hottie

Okay, back to the homeless situation. Aside from the window deflectors for the homeless motorhome (read: minivan), there are only a couple of items that need to be procured before my entry into motorhomelessness. So, I am pretty much prepared for the inevitable.

Typical Exodus Hottie

Homelessness is, therefore, the primary issue, the only issue. Homelessness is the exodus, the final exodus before death (permanent exodus).

Nausea

An excursion this morning to the Nissan® dealership in Kane'ohe resulted in the purchase of heavy-duty rubber floor mats for the homeless motorhome (read: minivan). Let's not even discuss the ridiculous price. Unfortunately, cheap off-the-shelf floor mats are too small.

Typical Heavy-Duty Hottie

Window deflectors will be the next purchase. The deflectors will allow the side windows to be cracked open about three or four inches without rain or thieving hands entering the vehicle.

Typical Overnight Hottie

No safe overnight parking has been secured as of this date. The same candidates are being considered. I must insure that I can obtain about six to seven hours of uninterrupted sleep. That means no police or security guards waking me up and ordering me to move on. And, no thugs attempting to steal the vehicle or its contents.

Typical Staging Area Hottie

I ended up parking the minivan at Ala Moana Center again. That's the designated homeless staging area. However, I am having second thoughts about its feasibility. Mind you, there are a lot of homeless people loitering there as it is. Unfortunately, the place is a complete disaster.

Typical Feasible Hottie

Have you perused the ol' lavahead's social media conduit on Facebook®? Well, there's nothing to look at. The "blog" has not been mummified yet.

Typical Social Media Hottie

Well, I can safely say that I am still not psychologically ready for homelessness. The thought makes me nauseous. Even though I despise the "ownership society," I have been previously well indoctrinated in its creed. So, homelessness invokes guilt.

Typical "Ownership" Hottie

And, even though I have never had a "home," I have been indoctrinated to believe that the "home" is a required residence for any human. Yet, even when I "owned" the townhouse and the "condotel" unit, I could not accept either as my "home."

Typical "Savior" Hottie

Well, really need to "get busy" and secure good overnight parking. There is no other choice but homelessness for me. My "savior" is not coming to rescue me in the "eleventh hour." I am just another faceless loser out of myriad victims of the global Ponzi scheme exacted by the moneychangers and powers-that-be.

Cesspool

As homelessness looms in the background, I grow more weary by the day. There is no need to plan any further. Homelessness cannot be planned. I have been striving for stability in homelessness. Pure foolishness on my part.

Typical Looming Hottie

At this point in time, I have actually entertained the idea of leaving the islands. Where would I go, though? Obviously, I would never return (even for a visit), so my family ties would be permanently mummified. Long story short, I am "grasping at straws" because I did not expect to end up in the current situation. However, the moneychangers and powers-that-be have robbed me of everything. And, there will be no end to their nefarious deeds.

Typical Paradise Hottie

Why would I even entertain the idea of relocating? There's just no way to describe the complete degeneration of the island life-style. It's a cesspool. I have posted a few observations in the "blog," but words simply cannot describe how bad it really is. In other words, this is not paradise.

Typical Social Media Hottie

In the interim, I am making as many preparations as possible. For example, I have set up a Facebook® presence under the same pseudonym (i.e., "Tralfaz Lavahead") as the "blog." It can be found through the people search. No quick link is available because I refused to register my cellphone number. In addition, it is fully public, so no "friend" requests are necessary.

Typical "Friend" Hottie

As we all know, I do not desire the creation of new on-line accounts, especially on social media. However, homelessness will certainly reduce my ability to access the Net for extended periods of time. So, social media is much easier to post using the associated "apps."

Typical Useful Hottie

And, let's face the facts. The "blog" has outlived its usefulness. Of course, being hounded by the surveillance robot adds insult to injury. Anyway, I have pretty much covered all of my world views in the thousands of posts in the old journal and both "blogs." So, what's left? Exactly my point.

Obstacle

So far, no decision has been forthcoming concerning secure overnight parking for the homeless motorhome (read: minivan). Very frustrating, I know. Otherwise, I have reviewed a couple of other overnight parking options. Nothing viable yet.

Typical Forthcoming Hottie

Nonetheless, the homeless project moves forward with more divestitures and acquisitions. Details not necessary. Just know that I made a few mistaken assumptions in my hurried quest for homelessness.

Typical Branded Hottie

Say, have you noticed that many homeless guys carry a stack of old branded paper cups with them? At first, I thought that they used the cups to get free beverage refills at various fast food joints. While that may be partially true, the cups are actually used as portable urinals. So, I disposed of the plastic cookie jar and will implement the official homeless solution instead.

Typical Worldly Hottie

On a side note, I discovered that the Nissan® Quest minivan has a huge rear cargo well. It can fit two pieces of small luggage easily. In fact, all of my worldly possessions could fit in there. The minivan is a true homeless motorhome. It just needs secure overnight parking.