Fossil

My first full day as an official old codger ... not much seems to have changed. Oh, but that's the deception of old age. Anything can happen at any time. I arrived in town early, mainly because I had to move my vehicle from Chaos Manor (read: rental housing) to the neighborhood shopping center. The Mexican work crew, if you can believe it, does not take any days off. And, the landlord's arrogant son won't have it otherwise. Once I arrived in town, I procured a cup of coffee at the coffee shop. I spent a little time composing the "blog" as well. Yeah, the iPad® and cheap "smartphone" are now always with me.

I immediately espied a certain fitness and training hottie immediately upon entering the gym. Naturally, baby was looking mighty fine. Sadly, I will have to mummify any further discussion about baby. Babes are a moot point for old codgers. And, really, baby was never going to come around anyway. Woe is me. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaa!

I spent most of the day in an ambivalent state. Nearly every facet of my earlier six decades of living has been reduced to meaninglessness. I was also experiencing intrusive and erotic thoughts about a certain fitness and training hottie. I am clearly not adjusting well to my sudden leap to "fossil" status.

By the way, now that I am an old geezer ... errr, I meant 60 years old ... I should declare the all-time favorite hottie of all the babes featured in the the old journal, the old "blog," and the latest incarnation of the "blog." Baby is mighty fine, eh? But, I digress.

Last night, I happened to peruse the new iPhone® models during my nightly visit to the Apple® Store in the den of consumerism (read: shopping mall) in Kahala. "Smartphones" like that on a no-contract cellphone plan would cost $600 upward. However, I was able to ascertain that I could actually get by with just a "smartphone" alone. In fact, the only real reason that I own a tablet computer is to compose the "blog." And, to be perfectly honest, I could probably compose the "blog" on my cheap "smartphone" with little difficulty. Of course, I would have to exploit various free wireless Net "hotspots" rather than use up my alleged 4G data allotment.

Time is rapidly running out for me to find new rental housing arrangements. I seriously doubt that Alan will be able to find a three-bedroom house for rent within a month. I compiled a list of available houses, but the "red tape" to secure a rental may exceed our time limit. The "chef" was supposed to move out of Chaos Manor this weekend. I have a feeling that he got "cold feet" and has postponed moving in with his "squeeze." Turns out, his "squeeze" has two other roommates. So, the "chef" would be moving into one tiny room. I also suspect that the landlord has cut him a deal (i.e., free rent) on the condition that Alan and I move out.

Sometimes, I just don't know. My primary purpose, given how my situation has degenerated, is to compose the "blog" and chronicle my demise. My secondary purpose is to find hottie pictures to embed in the "blog." Other old guys play checkers. Why can't I be more like them? Why am I having intrusive thoughts about a certain fitness and training hottie? Why doesn't baby come around? Why must I fall victim to the werewolves of empire? Why do I have to grow old and decrepit? Why?