Sixty

Sixty. Not just a number. We're speaking about years. Six decades, to be exact. Ol' Lavahead Day is happening now. Can that explain why I have been so cranky lately? You bet! What? Am I supposed to be elated that I have crossed the old codger threshold? Yes, I am now sixty years old. Damn it!

So what happens now? Well, all doors have closed. All avenues are now blocked. Aside from death, there's not much left for me. I'll be experiencing more pain and suffering, more decrepitude, more "bullshit," more rank-and-file peon crap, geriatric discrimination ... the list is endless. Yeah, so much for the "Golden Years."

The morning commenced at Chaos Manor (read: rental housing) with one of the rag-tag construction crew requesting that I move my vehicle from the the driveway. So, at 8:45am, I moved it to the neighborhood strip mall and parked in the parking lot. Then, I rode the bus to town. Every bus stop beyond Kahala had at least fifteen to twenty senior citizens waiting. The bus was completely filled with the geriatric crowd by the time I arrived in town. My brethren have nothing else to do but go shopping or loitering at various places with other senior citizens. I'm not complaining. I have been able to observe my (immediate) future life-style. It ain't pretty.

Once in town, I dropped off my gym bag at the gym and sashayed over to the coffee shop. No senior citizens were in sight. They were obviously at the fast food joint. I ordered an overpriced cup of coffee along with an overpriced blueberry muffin. The muffin was laughably puny. It will suffice as my birthday cake, I thought to myself. Yeah, the puny muffin is symbolic of my life.

I ran into Maka at the gym. He's a good man, although my formerly-homeless buddy would disagree. He's gone through a few severe trials. I believe that he was homeless at one point in time, even though he was employed at the gym. He's also diabetic. He's a few years younger than I am, but his hard life has aged him physically. What I admire about him is his laid back nature. He was much more impulsive and volatile in his younger years. Now, he takes everything in stride.

I thought of indulging in a nice birthday dinner somewhere in the den of consumerism (read: shopping mall) in Kahala this evening. However, the sickening sight of all the shopping zombies made me think twice. Why spend money on a good dinner if the ambiance is ruined by idiotic Satanic gargoyles? So, I purchased a small sandwich at my favorite sandwich shop and supplemented the latter with a greasy "value menu" item at the fast food joint. What a way to celebrate my 60th birthday, eh? Oh well.

Sadly, money has become an ambiguous issue for me. I am still fearful that I will deplete my financial resources during my most vulnerable geriatric years, no doubt a product of institutional brainwashing. Yet, I have been spending way more money than what I am comfortable with. Why? Well, I am pretty certain that I will be robbed of my life savings in the future regardless of any precautions. And, as a decrepit senior citizen, I won't really be able to enjoy much. My senses will be deadened. My body will be weak and deformed. What would saved money do for me except to pay for exorbitant medical expenses?

Ol' Lavahead Mini-Update®
I actually have come to appreciate my little "smartphone." It's a nice device, perfect for my geriatric needs. In fact, I will count it as birthday gift to myself. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaa! Upon further research, I learned that no-contract cellphone services only offer crappy devices with most service plans anyway.