Friday, November 28, 2014

Shame

As strange as it may seem, I have decided to never give my "smartphone" number to anyone. In fact, I am planning to never use the device to make phone calls. Heck, I can't even remember the phone number. I may not use it for any other purpose either. In other words, I wasted another $80 on a useless "piece of shit." Right now, I have the device wrapped in a plastic sandwich bag. Yeah, I can't even find a protective case to fit its odd size. There are plenty of cases for the fruit-based line of "smartphones," though.

After further review of the new "smartphone," I realized just how crappy and cheap it is. "Cellphone shame" is unavoidable. How can I even be seen with it in public? That's another matter entirely. I would have been wiser to have purchased the old-style "flip phone" that was on sale for $3 or so. And, the associated calling plan was only about $7 per month. Sure, the embarrassment of owning such a device would be unbearable. However, it would be easy to just throw the "piece of shit" in the trash can when under severe public scrutiny. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaa!

Well, I finally donated the wireless speaker to charity. No one in my bro's family wanted to it. Obviously, it does not have brand name recognition, the lack of which could induce "wireless speaker shame." In fact, the charitable organization may have difficulty selling it. The wireless speaker may just end up in the landfill. Never mind that it actually produces great sound.

I have grown quite weary of all my gadgets ... air flosser, electric shaver, fruit-based tablet computer, and cheap "smartphone." All of them fall into the "piece of shit" category. Every single one of them has a battery charger, another feature that really irks me. Why does an old codger need such crap? That's why I see a lot of toothless, unshaven, and disheveled old guys stumbling around. They get by without the gadgets. No one cares about old codgers anyway. They just get in the way.

1 comment:

  1. Black Friday has come and gone, and I successfully resisted the temptation to go app-shit at the nearest Temple of Spending, although I did stop out at the Worst Buy store last week to check out possible sales, but nothing going. I don't miss not having the latest 'puter. I fact, I sorely miss my old IBM PC 8086 from Days of Old when I was a simple grunt in a dumass state office, plunking away on that old steel keyboard with it's really loud key clicks and my simple word processor program and Lotus 123 2.0. I needed nothing else, I wanted nothing else, I coveted nothing else. I was content and satisfied, Amen. Then, the serpent in the garden - Our office got our first 386! And it included a few shareware games, like Duke Nukem, Prince of Persia, and one or two others, which we all played during breaks and even after working hours!!. And that was it - I was hooked on 'puter crap for ever more and soon just had to have my very own. Very soon, I needed a 486 to load up even more bloated programs. Then, the glory that was Doom, with the mandatory Pentium just to get it to load, not to mention play. Then, that damn Internet, and my little bullitin board memberships just weren't enough any more. Dialing up on an ole 1200 baud modem. I can't believe I thought I was in hog heaven. How pathetic it seem now, waiting 15-20 minutes until one sad porn picture downloads. Yup. It's been one expensive ride. Wot a waste. Wot a crock.

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