Immortal

Sitting at the coffee shop in town this morning, I was privy to observe how the mid- to upper-"ninety-nine percent" behave and interact. Money and power, real or feigned, appears to be the common denominator. Vanity, of course, cannot be overlooked. This is life in empire on a small scale. For me, an outcast and pariah, there's no relief from the madness. Unfortunately, I am also enslaved by money and the "system." I am, however, sick of the Ponzi schemes, thieves, and charletons that the "system" breeds. Yet, when the veneer of human superficiality and materialism is removed, the base animal instincts and associated behavior are laid bare. As I approach the twilight of my life, I have become more cynical and even more perturbed. I have wasted my entire life in pursuit of ... nothing. Oh, I have a few worldly accomplishments "under my belt." What are they worth? Nothing, especially in the face of death.

Had I truly understood my mortality in my youth, I could have spared myself the agony of personal exploration and discovery, making the same vain errors that my human predecessors have repeated over millennia. I would have eliminated all distractions and brushed aside the political, economic, romantic, religious, and corporate "brainwashing." I would have "paid my dues" early on. I would have made financial independence my one and only goal. Then, I would have retired, exiting the "system," immediately. Resisting all interim temptations require infinite willpower, but the true knowledge of mortality would have trumped any deviation toward stupidity and ignorance.

I did not run into my formerly-homeless buddy today. So, I may not be going to town tomorrow evening for the early "Black Friday" madness. Of course, I may just go there anyway. I have never witnessed such a debacle firsthand, not that I missed much. I can only guess that the "inner animal" breaks free and the subliminal fear of mortality pushes the ego to desperately acquire as many cheap material possessions as possible. In the days of old, such foolishness was known as "the quest for immortality" and "grasping at straws."

On a sad note, I have made no progress in securing another housing rental unit. I have a new "smartphone," but I have made no calls of inquiry. I have, however, played with the device and tweaked it to "perfection." Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaa! What a joke! In all honesty, I despise the device. I despise making phone calls. I detest conversing from the device. Phone phobia? You be the judge.