Crises

Usual Hawai'i Kai visit. Moms is doing fine. The common cold rages on. The usual agenda and itinerary were followed. The evening outing was the same as usual. There were several grubby homeless guys at the fast food joint in Kahala, most of whom I have never seen before. Homelessness is really picking up, if you know what I mean.

My days, since moving to Waimanalo, have become extremely taxing. It is as if the change in environment has exposed my life to be a complete farce. I have been living a lie. Or, I have been wasting my precious time for the last seven years. I really don't know.

Everything that I do during the course of each day is meaningless. a completely hollow shell of an existence. I have experienced existential crises before. There's no doubt about that. Somehow, I either recovered, came to my senses, or went deeper into denial. Again, I really don't know.

My new self-discovery seems to coincide with less time spent on the Net. I must spend more time commuting, so I have less time to leisurely occupy myself with the Net. So, my exposure to the already pared down list of Web sites has been pared down even further. During the day, I rely upon free wireless Net "hotspots" to primarily compose the "blog." When I return to Waimanalo, I have only about an hour or so before going to sleep. So, I mainly watch the news that is streamed on the [deleted] site. I also recharge the batteries of my technology gadgets.

I may have mixed feelings about the "blog," but I sure devote a lot of time to it. The "blog" is not just about my life, it is my life. Technically, if I mummified the "blog," I would really have no need for technology gadgets like a tablet computer or a "smartphone." Sure, I would miss the live news stream on RT. However, I could simply loiter at the fruit-based computer store in the den of consumerism (read: shopping mall) in Kahala and peruse all of my favorite alternative news Web sites. Then, too, if the "blog" were mummified, I would have absolutely nothing to do. Terrifying, isn't it?

The real question is ... why have I wasted most of my life on the Net? Why do any of us waste so much time on the Net? Has everyday life in empire degenerated to such a pathetic low point that there just isn't any alternative aside from playing video games or watching the tube? Is it really that bad, or is it just me?