Vanguard of Stupidity

There is just no better sample of global stupidity than the microcosmic Slob Manor (read: rental housing). Its tenants in the main house (with the exception of the ol' lavahead) are the pinnacle of stupidity and ignorance.

Typical Short-Circuit Hottie

Several weeks ago, the fluorescent ceiling light in the first floor common area stopped functioning. I discovered that fact because my squalid room was also affected. Turns out, there was some kind of short-circuit which tripped the associated circuit breaker. I was told that the light fixture was the problem. Tom, the drunkard, was the self-appointed electrician who initially diagnosed the problem.

Subsequently, every evening, I would return to a dark squalid room with no electric power. I came to discover that the idiotic "chef" would flip the switch whenever he arrived regardless of the fact that the light was inoperative. Tired of resetting the circuit breaker, I initially disconnected the light fixture. However, flipping the switch still caused the circuit breaker to trip. Suspecting that the two-way switch itself had an internal short, I disabled it. The other two-way switch in the stairway to the second floor was functioning because Tom, the drunkard, was able to turn the light on from there.

A few days later, the landlord's husband came by. He told Alan that he would replace the light fixture to fix thee problem. When Alan told me about the latest development, I said that the light fixture was fine. The two-way switch was the problem. Alan immediately called the landlord to report my findings. I told him to not mention my name. "No one will believe what I say," I said. "They all think I'm stupid." Unfortunately, Alan did not comply with my wishes. "I believe you," Alan said, justifying himself. "You're an engineer."

Well, Alan's credibility is not very high with the landlord either. So, about two days ago, Tom, the drunkard, was tasked with replacing the old light fixture with a new one. Oddly, he left me a note requesting that I enable the faulty two-way switch. He's the self-appointed electrician. Doesn't he know how to screw one wire back onto the terminal post? So, I removed the faceplate and left the two-way switch and the disconnected wire (with wire nut for safety) dangling.

Typical Trial-And-Error Hottie

In the meantime, I discovered that Tom, the drunkard, has toggled all of the circuit breakers in the house in an attempt to find the one that is associated with the light fixture. He is also using another fluorescent fixture that has a wall plug attached in order to locate the circuit breaker by trial-and-error. Doesn't he know that lights and outlets are always assigned different circuit breakers? Anyway, no one actually believes that I know which is the circuit breaker in question.

This morning, Alan commented that Tom, the drunkard, must finally be working on the two-way switch as he pointed to it dangling from the wall. I told him that I had left it that way, but I won't reconnect the wire. "See, they replaced the light fixture just as I told you," I said. "No one believes what I say." Alan concurred.

As you can probably guess, Tom, the drunkard, knows very little about electrical wiring. Yet, I have been told that he has vast expertise in the area. I don't despise him as I did before. I also believe that he is flat broke. His father was a professional golfer. Thus, the family was somewhat affluent. Unfortunately, both his parents passed on many decades ago. Any inheritance or trust fund money has already been dispersed. That's probably how he purchased a home in Hawai'i Kai many moons ago. A messy divorce forced the sale of the house. He took his disproportionately small share of the proceeds and invested all of it a local solar energy company. The company went bust, and he lost all of the money. His life at age 49 years is over. If anything, I feel pity for Tom, the drunkard.

Typical Humble Hottie

Of course, no one beats the "chef" in terms of arrogance and sheer stupidity. His ego has inflated beyond imagination because he expects to earn over $110,000 per year as a massage therapist graduate from a non-credit program at a local community college. Naturally, the landlord believes that the "chef" is extremely talented and a genius to boot. Who would have guessed? Microcosm of stupidity.