Machinations of Squalor

On Thursday, I commenced the deep cleaning of my squalid room at Slob Manor (read: rental housing). When I say, "Deep cleaning," I mean deep cleaning. Why so soon? Well, I may decide to give the landlord my 30-day notice to vacate as early as next week. No, actually, that's unlikely.

Typical Deep Cleaning Hottie

Nonetheless, my squalid room needs to be thoroughly cleaned. So, I may as well get it done while I am in the mood. After my next visit to the cardiologist, I may lose all desire to clean the dump. Heck, I may lose all desire to do anything. I may end up catatonic. Sheesh!

In any case, I have time to ponder the logistics of moving into the pathetic Chinatown dormitory. Slob Manor actually affords me many luxuries (term used loosely) even amidst the squalor. Those luxuries are conspicuously absent in the Chinatown dormitory. Thank Molech that I am an engineer.

Typical Workaround Hottie

I have developed a workaround to use the Waterpik® water flosser. I will simply procure a plastic dishpan. Thus, I will sit on the floor and deploy the device over the dishpan. No one will see me, so the pathetic process will be known only to me (and you, of course). My original plan was to procure a stool that would elevate the device to the height of the hideous industrial sink that is standard in every room. The dishpan is easier to transport and less costly.

There are coin-operated laundry facilities in the Chinatown dormitory. Obviously, I will be doing the dreaded laundry chores only once per week or less. Thus, I will have to procure more inexpensive clothing and underwear. Thank Molech for the new Walmart® store in town.

Typical Hotspot Hottie

What I will probably miss the most is having unlimited Net access. If I relocate to the Chinatown dormitory, I won't have any Net access at all. I will have to carry the tablet computer with me and locate free wireless "hotspots" around town in order to access the Net. Yet, what do I need the Net for? My sources of alternatives news has dwindled down to nothing once I discovered that the latter were "pimping" for empire. I receive no e-mail. And, my Skype® number will expire on September 9th.

Typical Bit-Torrent Hottie

What about Net bit-torrent downloading? Well, I find that there are few "mainstream" flicks left that are worth viewing. The list dwindled into the negative region after I discovered the perverse and outspoken political opinions of many actors and actresses. As for hurdy-gurdy flicks ... well, with the Vienna Sausage on its "last leg," there's little need to test it. And, let's face it, most hurdy-gurdy flicks are of extremely mediocre quality (e.g., bad camera work, poor color balance, bizarre editing).

Typical Insomniac Hottie

With that said, the sole purpose of residing in the Chinatown dormitory, aside from preparing for death, is a place to sleep. Otherwise, no time should be spent there. I would be on the move from early in the morning until possibly 10pm in the evening. The only reason that I need the Net so bad at Slob Manor is that there is nothing else to do in my squalid room while I am there. And, as we all know, I have only a small window of time to sleep thanks to the eccentric nocturnal habits of the other idiotic Slob Manor residents. Don't even get me started on the Chinaman house next door.

Typical Status Quo Hottie

I could, obviously, change my mind and continue the status quo at Slob Manor. There are no other options. Since I am not a wage slave, I have no income. Thus, no landlord will rent a room or decent apartment to me. I can settle for options of total squalor. Very depressing.