Squalor

This morning, I called the property management firm that oversees the Chinatown dormitory. I scheduled a tentative move-in date of November 1st. Yeah, that's two month from now. Another two months at the despicable Slob Manor (read: rental housing). How will I cope?

Typical Dormitory Hottie

Well, the decision to move out of the dump remains tentative because the Chinatown dormitory is even dumpier. Words cannot describe the sheer squalor. I am, of course, thinking with a mind that believes it is still much younger than the geriatric body that houses it. For an old codger, the Chinatown dormitory is more than adequate. It is a mausoleum designed to ready oneself for death.

Typical "Credit Check" Hottie

The application process for the mausoleum ... errr, Chinatown dormitory ... was a joke, just as my formerly-homeless buddy told me. I could have simply brought a check for the first month's rent and security deposit to secure a unit right then. The whole "credit check" story was a ruse. There are always openings at the mausoleum. No waiting list. Although, only a down-and-out loser or an old codger would settle for a place like that.

So, that is why I have given myself two months of time. Of course, I will still need to give the landlord notice of my intent to move. So, I really have only one month. Obviously, I will have to handle the situation with the landlord carefully. I don't want to "burn bridges" prematurely.

Typical Transformed Hottie

Make no mistake, though. Once I move into the Chinatown dormitory, I will be transformed to the lowest class of losers. I will be only one microscopic level above the homeless. And, there's no way back out.