Contingencies

The latest development at Slob Manor (read: rental housing) is more than just a slight inconvenience. Finding another rental unit will be difficult. First, I don't have any kind of phone service. Second, I don't have any income.

Typical Contingency Hottie

I would like to graduate to renting my own apartment. However, the going basic monthly rates in Honolulu are $1,000 for studios, $1,200 for one-bedroom units, and $1,400 for two-bedroom units. Unbelievable, eh? Room rentals run between $700 and $900 per month with shared bathrooms and kitchens. There may or may not be other amenities like laundry facilities and Net service. Slob Manor was actually a bargain. Unfortunately, the tenants of Slob Manor were too stupid to realize how good they had it.

Obviously, the "chef" and Alan will need to rent their own apartments. Their quirky ways and their voluminous possessions are not workable in a community environment. No one is going to put up with that crap. The "chef" will have a difficult time finding any place that meets his selfish needs.

As for me, I don't believe that I will remain at Slob Manor even if the opportunity arises. I am certain that the rent will increase. There will be a new lease, most likely for a term of one year. A security deposit and last month's rent will also be due. Right now, I am on a month-to-month agreement. And, I only have a security deposit with the landlord.

So, what are my options? Frankly, there aren't any. I almost certainly cannot rent an apartment because I have no verifiable income. Savings don't count. I can attempt to find another room rental, but demand is extremely high. These are trying times, and there are a lot of people in the same situation. That only leaves homelessness as an option.

Living on the streets is the last resort. The Next Step homeless shelter, the second-to-last resort, requires a tedious process for admittance. In addition, Next Step is plagued with myriad problems and lots of losers. That only leaves IHS, which is a viable short-term solution for $90 per month. Pretty sad, eh? Well, I don't want to "jump the gun." There's probably about two months of time left, at the minimum. No need to panic. Keep calm and carry on. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaa!

Slob Manor Mini-Update®
No "For Sale" sign. No "Open House." No sign of any real estate agent. No listing on the Honolulu Board of Realtors® site. What's going on? The landlord is apparently attempting to sell Slob Manor without a real estate agent, most likely to save money.  Don't tell me the landlord has the property listed on Craigslist!