Terminal Heartbeats

There was some dubious research a while back which correlated heart rate, mammilian size, and lifespan. Long story short, the main thesis was that mammals have an average finite number of heartbeats in their lifespans. We humans supposedly have somewhere around three billion heartbeats before we "kick the bucket."

With that said, I have accelerated my cardio workouts at the gym. I am up to 50 minutes at close to the peak heart rate for my age group (which is pathetically low). I am sweating profusely, so I am glad that I purchased the synthetic tank tops. I can perspire all I want because I hand wash them every night. But, I digress.

Typical Workout Hottie

My resting heart rate is fairly high. And, I have spent most of my adult life engaged in heavy cardio workouts. And, remember when I used to do da wild thing with a babe about four or five times daily with a certain babe for over a year straight. Whew! I really "pushed the envelope" in my younger years. So, how many heartbeats do I have left? I believe that I am fairly close to the three billion mark already.

Well, I suppose that I could "keel over" at any time now. That's a comforting thought, eh? Don't laugh. Lots of people "keel over" at an early age. So, here I am, just "kickin' the can down the road," just wasting time when death could visit me in the next second. Oh, the irony! Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaa!

Slob Manor (Read:Rental Housing) Mini-Update®
From what I can gather, the "chef" has apparently "hooked up" with another babe. The pattern appears to be a mirror image of what transpired with his last "squeeze." The ground maca root is paying off already. Only four days at the yoga studio and ... he shoots, he scores!

Ol' Lavahead Mini-Update®
I am now purchasing a small serving of hot oatmeal at the fast joint in town as part of my breakfast regimen. It's old man food, so I am really getting to like it. Sheesh!