Dysfunctional Normal Redux

Yesterday afternoon, I put my gym clothes in the washing machine that is next to my squalid room in Slob Manor (read: rental housing). Upon completion, I discovered that the clothes had an odd odor, like some kind of petroleum-based solvent, and an even odder residue. The clothes were ruined. Someone was using the washer the night before. The culprit wasn't Alan or the "chef." I am certain that it wasn't Tom, the drunkard, either. Who could it have been?

This afternoon, when I returned from my usual Hawai'i Kai visit, I discussed the matter with Alan and the "chef." Alan immediately called the landlord to report the incident. Then, I left a note for the culprit, asking for $50 in compensation.

Typical Suspect Hottie

So, who did it? The likely suspect is Mattie G, the pudgy homeless guy, who has been staying upstairs with Tom, the drunkard. Turns out that he is the same homeless guy who was the source of the problem at Slob Manor in March of this year. Mattie G is one of the many derelicts camping at Kawaikui Beach Park. Tom, the drunkard, must have met him while collecting redeemable bottles and cans in the park's trash receptacles.

Typical Defiant Hottie

When, I returned from my evening outing at 8:15pm, all was quiet. However, a few minutes later, there was a lot of shouting going on upstairs. The landlord's husband came by unexpectedly. He caught Tom, the drunkard, and Mattie G smoking pakalolo (read: marijuana). There was a scuffle, and Mattie G scurried out the front door while hastily putting on his backpack. He displayed a defiant attitude on his way out. Then, the landlord's husband lectured Tom, the drunkard, for about ten minutes. What good is that going to do?

Typical Sneaky Hottie

Anyway, it turns out that Alan made another call to the landlord, most likely after he saw Tom, the drunkard, sneaking his homeless buddy upstairs. During the earlier phone call, the landlord had told Alan that the new eviction strategy was to change the locks on Wednesday. That same feeble strategy failed in March of this year when the landlord eventually capitulated and gave Tom, the drunkard, a new key.

Typical "Point of No Return" Hottie

I made sure that the landlord's husband took the landlord's mail with him. My notice of intent to vacate the premises went with the other mail. There's no turning back now.

A beautiful full moon tonight. Tomorrow is another day, and we can expect that Mattie G will be reunited upstairs with Tom, the drunkard. The dysfunctional normal. A bad sitcom that just keeps coming back. Same ol' shit. Oh, wait! Mattie G has already snuck back into Slob Manor.

Slob Manor Mini-Update®
Both Alan and the "chef" firmly believe that Tom, the drunkard, will soon be evicted. If that was the case, the landlord's husband should have kicked his ass out the door this evening. Didn't happen. Not going to happen. Ever.