Cleanse

The last day of the "cleansing" diet is upon us. Actually, I cannot confirm that the "cleansing" diet will be mummified. I may or may not modify it. Heck, I may abandon it entirely. Well, something must be done. I've lost six pounds in weight over a period of two months so far. Sheesh!

Typical Cleansed Hottie

There's really nothing new to report. I just wanted to trigger the damned Google® surveillance 'bot and feature another gorgeous young hottie. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaa!

Old Codger Territory

The various heart problems have minimized ever since I commenced the "cleansing" diet. Muscle strength is still not back to normal. I am beginning to suspect that the only real problem is that I crossed over into old codger territory. There's no turning back either.

Typical "Cleansing" Hottie

The situation at Slob Manor (read: rental housing) remains dysfunctional. The only positive news is that Tom has been very mindful of not making noise above my squalid room. That box of wine that I gave him has paid off. I still have another box of wine that I will probably donate to him soon. Heck, I can't consume it. The "chef" is still the king off asswipes at the dump. No one can even come close insofar as arrogance is concerned. There really is no need to waste any more time and space on the dump and its tenants.

Typical Oiled-Up Hottie

So, what's left? Young hotties, of course! Nubile, oiled-up hotties. Old codgers drool over young hotties. That's why they are called "dirty old men." A young hottie has no need for a "shriveled up prune."

Typical Nubile Hottie

I am an old codger. I am beginning to shrivel up like a prune. Am I a "dirty old man"? You be the judge. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaa!

Surveillance Mini-Update®
Now that the Google® developer conference is over, the surveillance 'bot is back in action. Yeah, wasting precious resources in monitoring a "blog" that is viewed by ... maybe ... five people.

Speak! Mini-Update®
Many thanks to T in Japan, Mista Bumpy here in Hawai'i, and Jan Pieter in the Netherlands for recent comments. As for Jan Pieter's suggestion to remove the "blog" from search engines, that has always been in effect. Sadly, the surveillance 'bot appears to be another issue.

Hotties Galore

The surveillance robot appears to have taken a brief hiatus. Why? Well, Google® I/O, the annual developer conference has been session for two days. So, all resources have been reallocated.

Typical Development Hottie

What better time to showcase more gorgeous young hotties? So many young hotties, so little time. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaa!

Typical Local Hottie

A few of the old codgers whom I know seem to be fixated on ogling young hotties. A sad story. That's why there's a boom in hurdy-gurdy video clips specializing in old codger fantasies.

Typical Young Hottie

Hotties everywhere. What's an old codger to do? Choke da chicken? Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaa!

Young Hotties

Another visit to the Makahiki clinic. Long story short, I will have a blood sample taken and analyzed within a week at one of the local diagnostic laboratories. Then, I will be referred to a cardiologist. I am also being scheduled for a colonoscopy. Yeah, I am really beginning to feel like an old codger. Well, at least I was given a long overdue tetanus booster inoculation. Apparently, the health insurance has kicked in. I'll be spending a lot of time at various medical clinics, just like a good senior citizen. Sheesh!

Typical Fitness Hottie

Last Sunday, I was able to peruse the fine features of the hottie gym trainer at the gym. No, baby has not come around. Baby is technically not a young hottie. Well, she's way younger than me ... about fifteen years. So, as far as I am concerned, she's a young hottie. Baby is in excellent shape, though. She looks way better than many of the twenty-somthing babes. Why won't baby come around? That's a rhetorical question.

Typical Dietary Hottie

Incidentally, I am still on the "cleansing" diet. Although, I don't seem to have much in the way of direction or focus. I have cut back on granola. Too much saturated fat. I have included generic cereal bars in my diet, although the latter lists high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) as an ingredient. Saturated fat or HFCS? A toss up, really. I am also consuming one Muscle Milk® high protein nutrition bar (the only one without sucralose). I've also added organic milk, Greek yogurt, and Naturade® Vegan Smart® nutrition shakes to my diet. And, I am still substituting Jamba Juice® meal replacements for dinner.

Typical Surveillance Hottie

Alas, the Google® surveillance robot has made "blogging" an undesirable activity. There's just no reason for the malignant activity. Yet, it continues unabated. My only solution ... add more pictures of gorgeous young hotties. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaa!

Typical Young Hotties

More and more young hotties. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaa! Young hotties! Gorgeous young hotties! Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaa!

Fibrillations

While making several phone calls to medical creditors (i.e., hospital, ambulance service, etc.), I discovered that the health insurance information was already made known to the entities in question. In fact, I believe that they knew the information well ahead of me. Very interesting.

Typical Fibrillating Hottie

The atrial fibrillations and arrhythmia continue, all at unpredictable moments. Frankly, I have no idea. I cannot even be certain about the Panda Express® correlation. Of course, I won't be foolishly testing the latter correlation. I am not even certain if the beta blocker is nothing more than a placebo.

I am now experiencing symptoms when I commence my cardio workout at the gym. My protocol is to stop immediately. After a brief rest period, I attempt the cardio set again. I repeat the latter process three or four times or until the symptoms disappear, whichever comes first. Sheesh!

Typical Constricted Hottie

My life has really become constricted in all aspects. Now, I am faced with the prospect of mummifying my gym workouts. What's left for me to do? Yet, I am fortunate to still be alive. And, I am fortunate to now have decent health insurance coverage.

Surveillance Mini-Update®
The Google® surveillance robot appears to have had another algorithm revision. A small staff of programmers must have been assigned to the surveillance group that is monitoring the "blog." Quite amazing, eh?

Ol' Lavahead Mini-Update®
The ol' lavahead has seemingly exhausted the limited number of good "mainstream" flicks. So, he is now viewing the entire "Resident Evil" catalog. Sheesh!

Restricted Space

With each passing day, I realize that I am a prisoner of empire, and my prison cell is getting smaller and smaller. My movements have been severely restricted. I am now relegated to transporting myself to town and back just to work out at the gym.

Typical Unrestricted Hottie

I no longer frequent the public library. There's just too many losers loitering there and causing trouble for everyone else. And, really, what more knowledge do I need to acquire this late in life? I have also made myself scarce at the fast food joint. Too many people disturbing my quiet time. And, I don't drink coffee anymore.

I can't park myself anywhere else because I would be trespassing on private property. I am only a petty "renter" in the damned "ownership society." I am a nobody. A peon. A loser. My evening outings are still focused upon the den of consumerism (read: shopping mall) in Kahala. Den of consumerism ... says it all, eh?

Scene from "The Island"

And, when I return to the despicable Slob Manor (read: rental housing), I have nothing to do except to view "mainstream" flicks (downloaded via bit-torrent client) on the poor man's home theater system. Incidentally, I viewed, "The Island," recently. Very slick flick.

Brook Ultra in "MILF Hunter"

I have also acquired a couple of new hurdy-gurdy video clips of new hurdy-gurdy hotties Sofia Rivera and Brook Ultra. Hubba hubba! Brook Ultra may replace my all-time favorite, Natasha Vega. Check out Brook Ultra's new scene for Reality Kings®. Ho boy!

Ol' Lavahead Mini-Update®
I received two more medical bills amounting to $700 and some change. The new total for my visit to the emergency room at the hospital is $4,700 upward. The good news? I have been accepted for health insurance, and a healthcare provider has already been assigned to me.

Surveillance Mini-Update®
As nauseating as it may seem, the Google® surveillance 'bot is still at it. The resources available for surveillance is mind-boggling considering the microscopic scale of this particular "blog."

Relapse

While standing at the bus stop across Kawaikui Beach Park this morning, I experienced about five continuous minutes of arrhythmia and atrial fibrillation. Once I boarded the bus, I was fine. Or, so, I thought.

Typical Relapse Hottie

When I alighted the bus in town, I suffered a relapse of continuous skipped heartbeats and palpitations. I completed my errands throughout the order. I finally was able to sit at one of the tables just outside of the gym about 20 minutes later. I seriously thought about walking to the emergency room at the hospital. Foolishly, I decided to endure the ordeal. About ten minutes later, my heartbeats returned to normal.

I completed my weight workout at the gym without incident. However, another relapse occurred just as I was completing my cardio workout. Once again, I considered the emergency room option. I showered and dressed. Then, I foolishly decided to wait out the ordeal. Again, my heartbeats returned to normal in about 30 minutes.

I suffered a similar incident last Sunday morning, once again as I waited at the bus stop across Kawaikui Beach Park. The episode only lasted about five minutes. I was not too concerned at the time.

The strange part about the whole situation is that I have determined one common factor, and that includes the day that I ended up at the emergency room in the hospital. The night before each incident, I ate a large dinner from Panda Express®. Strange, eh?

There are no other remaining variables. I mummified both coffee and wine consumption. And, my diet is way too regular. Only dinner differs each day. I have experienced no problems subsequent to patronizing the sandwich shop or the fast food joint (both located in Kahala).

So, what could be causing the problem? Too much salt in the Chinese food? Too much MSG (monosodium glutamate)? Heck, I really don't know. Of course, by process of elimination, I have no choice but to invoke an indefinite moratorium on Panda® food.

Ol' Lavahead Mini-Update®
I have received the $1,060 bill for the ambulance service to the hospital. So, the total for the emergency room visit a couple of weeks ago is about $4000 or so.

Surveillance Mini-Update®
The asinine Google® surveillance robot is still at it. I am on the verge of financial collapse, but I am still hounded by the 'bot. Sickening.

Modified Diet Mini-Update®
The correlation between dinner at Panda Express® and my heart palpitations border on ridiculous. Yet, I have found no evidence to the contrary. Three confirmed incidents are beyond coincidence. Yet, moms and I have continued to dine at the Panda® for lunch on Mondays. I am now relying upon Jamba Juice® meal substitutes for nourishment every evening. I also signed up for the Jamba Juice® Insider Rewards® program.

Day at the Makahiki Clinic

I departed for town at 8am this morning on the bus. My plan was to drop off my gym bag at the gym, stuff all the medical paperwork in my sackpack, then ride the bus to the clinic in Waikiki. The plan went fairly well. I arrived at 9:30am as instructed. My appointment was at 10am.

Typical Clinical Hottie

I checked in at the front desk. Then, I was told that my appointment was actually at the new Makahiki branch. I was flabbergasted. I am a senior citizen, but I know that I confirmed the details of the appointment when I called to schedule it.

Long story short, I spent another 45 minutes on two different buses to transport myself to the Makahiki clinic. I was perturbed, but my "sliding scale" payment of $20 for the visit easily soothed my nerves. Anyway, I was told that I would need to see a cardiologist. So, I have scheduled a tentative appointment in two weeks to begin the referral process. The delay, of course, is to accommodate the wait period for the health insurance to kick in.

Speaking of health insurance, I called Cardon Outreach® office yesterday only to be told that the copy of my birth certificate and picture identification was never received. I was going to FAX a copy that evening, but a later voicemail message indicated that the document was found. Now, the application process has been delayed by a full week. Incidentally, I have activated a Skype® phone number ($18 for three months) with voicemail. Yeah, expenses are going up.

I arrived back in town at noon. So, I was not too far behind schedule. I performed my usual workout. I have not recovered my full muscle strength yet. And, I am down to 137 pounds. Yes, I did mention the shocking weight loss to the physician at the clinic. And, I forgot to carry my medication with me.

The bus ride out of town was uneventful until Aina Haina. I observed a light rain. By the time the bus reached Kawaikui Beach Park, the light rain had turned into a downpour. I alighted the bus and was soaking wet in seconds. When I arrived at Slob Manor (read: rental housing), I was really perturbed when the downpour suddenly stopped. Blue sky. Sun shining. Yeah, that's the kind of crappy day I enjoyed. And, the Google® surveillance robot will be right there when I post this entry to the "blog." Oh brother.

Apathetic Enthusiasm

Ever since my visit to the emergency room at the hospital a week ago, I have lost interest in everything. And, without my caffeine fix, I have become extremely ambivalent. I am irritated by very little. Even exposure to stupidity leaves me unfazed. In addition, my drive to accomplish anything has been muted. In other words, I just don't care anymore.

Scene from "Now You See Me"

The only excitement for me is viewing flicks (obtained via bit-torrent download) on the poor man's home theater system. With that said, I really enjoyed, "Now You See Me." Another good flick is, "Escape Plan."

As far as hurdy-gurdy video clips are concerned, I have lost all interest. Babes are meaningless for decrepit old codgers. And, the Vienna Sausage does not need to tested. I don't want to provoke a real cardiac event. Sheesh!

Typical Anti-Surveillance Hottie

The intrusive surveillance of the "blog" has also contributed to my apathy. I am currently reviewing my options. In the meantime, I will be reducing the number of postings per month. What else can I do? Anyway, if the "blog" has to go, so be it.

The first of the medical bills (for my hospital visit) has arrived. The amount came to $2891 and some change. I am expecting the bill for the ambulance ride to be $600 upward. That's an expensive "wake-up call" for the poisonous nature of coffee and wine. Sheesh!

Homeless Buddy Mini-Update®
My homeless buddy is back on chemotherapy. He is also finally moving out of the Next Step homeless shelter. He will be renting a room in Chinatown. He has urged me to seek out a rental unit there as well. I have to admit, my homeless buddy has "street smarts."

Ol' Lavahead Mini-Update®
I have observed that my appetite has increased ever since I stopped drinking coffee. In other words, I am constantly hungry. Caffeine is obviously an appetite suppressant. Unfortunately, the heart palpitations are continuing despite the mummification of coffee. And, my weight is down to 138 pounds (clothed). Sheesh!

"Blog" Mini-Update®
As per the mandated security countermeasures protocol, I have removed key and sensitive information from the old "blog." During the tedious process, I was able to monitor the actions of the Google® surveillance robot. Very disturbing.

Detoxification

I have designated the entire month of June 2014 for body detoxification. The process commenced just a few days ago with the mummification of both wine and coffee consumption. Alcohol and caffeine were literally killing me. A few days have passed, so the toxins should have been purged by now.

Aside from the addition of oatmeal (read: old man food) to my diet, I have added several Jamba Juice® smoothies as well. I am referring to the newer fruit & vegetable or meal-substitute combinations. Fast food "value menu" items will be minimized, but not eliminated. As the new diet improves, I will post details in the "blog."

In my last assessment, caffeine was implicated as the major factor affecting my heart. I dropped the coffee habit before, so there was no problem this time. Withdrawal symptoms were minor, most likely because I was only consuming one small cup per day. I feel sluggish and tired most of the day. However, my base heart rate is now between 66 and 74 beats per minute. There are still a few skipped heartbeats, but no fluttering palpitations. I am not "one hundred percent" yet, but I feel much better.

My left forearm is still badly bruised, discolored, and swollen in some parts because of the botched intravenous insertions. No telling how long before the forearm is healed. Otherwise, no other problems.

Global Fraud Mini-Update®
The ECB has just lowered interest rates below zero percent. Yeah, that's right. That's why global equities are soaring. Expect the empire to follow suit. As I predicted, interest rates will never rise above zero percent in my lifetime. Shortly, we can expect savers to pay a fee to hold money in any bank.

Surveillance Mini-Update®
The Google® surveillance robot just won't quit. The trigger word for a global nuclear "dirty bomb" strike is "lavahead." The end times are here. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaa!

Slob Manor (Read: Rental Housing) Mini-Update®
I have confirmed that my squalid room is infested with bedbugs. I caught one last night as it crawled on my leg. I have no idea where the rest of them are hiding. Yet, I have been bitten at least five times every night for the past few week. Where are they coming from? Extermination procedures have been invoked yet again.

Ol' Lavahead Mini-Update®
I continue to lose weight, now down to 139 pounds. Muscle strength has not recovered either. Currently, there is no cause for alarm. The detoxification process may cause me to lose more weight. I will attempt to stabilize the loss by returning to a more "normal" diet soon.

"Terrorist" Mini-Update®
It's official. The "blog" is on the "terrorist" watchlist. The ol' lavahead is a prime suspect for future "terrorist" attacks. Thus, the surveillance robot has increased its intrusive practices. I am now weighing my options to free myself from the unwarranted gauntlet.

Oatmeal

The sad saga continues. My first stop in town this morning was Queen's Hospital. I delivered the requested documents to one of the representatives of Cardon Outreach®. The process to obtain the State's Med-QUEST health insurance coverage, I was told, would take 45 days to complete. In the meantime, the medical bills are coming.

I substituted a nice hot cup of oatmeal (read: old man food) in place of coffee at the fast food joint in town. Yeah, oatmeal will be my mainstay from this point forward. Well, hey! It's healthy! Then, I restored my extreme monk haircut.

I am still approaching my workout at the gym in a guarded fashion. Weightlifting has been relegated to a modified senior citizen format. Cardio has also been downgraded to a less strenuous level. The modifications are in effect indefinitely. I am already feeling as though I am just wasting time and money at the gym.

Typical Counterinsurgency Hottie

No doubt the surveillance robot will be invoked automatically when I post this entry to the "blog." So stupid. There are no "insurgents" here. Sheesh!

Coffee & Mayhem

Usual Hawai'i Kai visit. Moms was totally unaware of my Friday ordeal at the hospital. My bro mentioned nothing, which was the right decision. Otherwise, moms would have been worried all weekend for no good reason.

True to my word, I bid farewell to my old friend ... coffee. Well, my old friend had turned on me. What else could I do? I consumed a tiny cup of heavily diluted coffee. And, that was it. No fanfare. I felt lethargic all day. My workout at the gym was difficult to assess. I suspect that the caffeine was affecting me in many adverse ways, much of which I am yet to discover.

Typical Anti-Terrorist Hottie

The surveillance drone ... err, robot ... is still at it. Tiring, very tiring. Why not search out real "terrorists" who have real plans for mayhem?

Coffee, Wine, and Me

When I returned from the hospital on Friday night, I did not partake of the usual glass of wine. Way to late in the evening. And, I had the urgent need to post to the "blog." I observed that I was actually able to sleep better. My heart rate seemed to be below 80 beats per minute. And, there were no skipped heart beats or momentary palpitations (which were becoming more common over the past month). What's more important is that I could not feel my heart pounding forcefully in my chest. When consuming the daily glass of wine, I could almost hear my heartbeats.

Wine is a vasodilator. And, in many people, it actually causes an increase in heart rate. The stimulant action of the wine resulted in poor sleep quality. Hence, I was more fatigued the following morning. After months of poor sleep, the body begins to break down and is susceptible to all kinds of ailments.

On Friday, I suspect that my body was at a low point. The coffee that I consumed in the morning only exacerbated the situation. The caffeine, a stimulant, raised my heart rate and most likely increased the incidents of arrhythmia and atrial fibrillation. Add in the workout at the gym (while fatigued and artificially stimulated) and the intense heat of the afternoon ... a perfect scenario for a cardiac event.

I am not a medical physician. I could be "full of crap." Yet, last night, I skipped the glass of wine again. No forceful heartbeats, no arrhythmia, no atrial fibrillation. I slept well. Of course, I am working off of a small dosage of the beta blocker medication. Frankly, I am more inclined to believe that abruptly ceasing the wine consumption produced better results. As of this post, I have donated the box wine to Tom, the drunkard, of Slob Manor (read: rental housing) fame. Ironic, no?

That now leaves me with one last culprit ... coffee. The cardiac event on Friday occurred in the afternoon. The only possible stimulant coursing through my blood vessels at that time would have been caffeine. In all likelihood, the caffeine was the catalyst for the prolonged bout of heart palpitations that led to my excursion to the emergency room at the hospital.

To test my thesis, I ordered a cup of senior citizen coffee at the fast food joint in town this morning. I requested that the coffee be half-diluted with hot water. I consumed about half of the diluted coffee before observing a marked increase in heart rate and a few missed heartbeats. Effectively, I consumed only about four ounces of coffee. I threw the remainder out.

If that little coffee can cause problems, then there's no point in continuing the habit. Thus, tomorrow will be the last day for coffee. I will drink a cup of watery coffee. No more coffee after that. Yes, rapid tapering. Unbelievable, eh?

Surveillance Mini-Update®
The damned surveillance robot is still at it. Millions of "blogs," but this is the only one under scrutiny. And, what, with all three readers. Sheesh! Bomb. Terrorist. Jihad. Allahu akbar. Bin laden. Fuck it.