Chat with the Landlord

Upon returning to Slob Manor (read: rental housing) after my usual Hawai'i Kai visit on Monday, I observed that the landlord was walking around outside. I slipped into my squalid room, only to hear a knock on the door a few minutes later. The landlord informed me that the property management firm that handles rentals in the "crack house" in Chinatown had called for a tenant reference. I did not mention that I am no longer eligible for subsidized housing.

Typical Tenant Hottie

The brief conversation proved to be somewhat informative. From what I heard, the landlord has lost control of Slob Manor. The chick who is renting the attached two-bedroom apartment at the rear of the house has taken the liberty of moving her boyfriend in with her without the landlord's consent.

Tom, the drunkard, is in arrears with his rent. No surprise. The latest news is that he pleaded with the landlord for a reprieve. In exchange, he allegedly will be going to a rehabilitation clinic for alcoholics and will also be doing odd jobs around the house to work off his debt. Yeah, right. How long will that farce last? One hour?

And, Alan was allegedly given a 45-day notice to vacate. The reason, his hoarding of myriad junk in his squalid room, is actually not valid for eviction. However, I assume that the two-faced "chef" is the catalyst behind the decision. Alan has been on vacation at his "McMansion" in Arizona for a couple of weeks, so he has missed out on the nonsense.

As I suspected, the utility (i.e., electricity, water, sewage, trash pick-up) bills have increased dramatically. Part of the problem is that the tenants have been using resources liberally and carelessly. The rental income is now below breakeven. Add to the mix that Slob Manor was refinanced with an adjustable rate mortgage (ARM) a few years ago, then the "writing is on the wall."

The landlord also mentioned that the new nursery in Waimanalo is doing just so-so. And, the landlord's son is now living on borrowed time because his solar energy business is floundering. The landlord had previously given him over $800,000 (the proceeds from the sale of the landlord's former house in Hawai'i Kai) to start up the business.

Obviously, a rent increase is inevitable. My educated guess is that the bad news will probably arrive before the end of Summer. I cannot expect the landlord to operate at a loss given the other pathetic circumstances. Overall, the only two tenants who follow the rules are the ol' lavahead and the older hottie who is renting the attached studio.

Ol' Lavahead Mini-Update®
Lots of people have recently taken the liberty to engage the ol' lavahead in conversation on the bus and at the fast food joint in town, amongst other places. I am somewhat perturbed because my solitude was violated, particularly during my morning coffee session. Then, I am privy to listen to very boring topics, usually the life story of the babbling fool or religious mumbo-jumbo. I am tempted to brew my own coffee at Slob Manor, transport it in a thermal-insulated container, and find a desolate spot to enjoy my solitude.