Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Peonage of Doom

One of the logistical problems of motorhomelessness is the lack of restroom facilities near the chosen parking area. Old codgers like the ol' lavahead must "drain the lizard" two or mote times during the night. The geriatric bladder just isn't what it used to be. A possible solution is to carry a large glass container (with reliable lid) inside the homeless motorhome (read: luxury minivan). A drawback would be accidental spills or splashing, both of which would be unacceptable in the minivan. The only solution would be to exit the vehicle and find nearby shrubbery (or equivalent) to discreetly use as an interim restroom.

Although a homeless shelter seems like a good compromise, there are several problems with the option. Rampant theft, odd nocturnal noises, bad odors, bedbugs, to name a few. And, once enrolled in a homeless shelter, a document trail is generated that will haunt the unwitting homeless person forever. A sheltered homeless person would require the rental of a storage unit to secure personal possessions. The storage unit will most likely be quite a distance from the homeless shelter, which will require shuttling there several times per day to retrieve, exchange, or store "stuff."

Well, one fact became apparent when I last chatted with my homeless buddy. That is, most landlords and property managers require verifiable income that is several times the monthly rent in order to qualify as a candidate. For subsidized senior citizen housing, the income requirement is 3.5 times the $600 monthly rent. For regular rental housing, the ratio is similar. So, a room in a shared rental unit that is renting for $1,000 per month would require that the rental candidate earn at least $3,500 per month. Obviously, I don't qualify.

By the way, room rentals, aside from being overpriced, are troublesome in many ways. For example, as a guy, I must avoid rentals in which there are babe tenants or single parents with dependent children residing there. It is just too easy to fall prey to false accusations of sexual harassment, assault, rape, pedophilia and so forth. Can you imagine the outcome for the ol' lavahead? I would be arrested for being a " dirty old man." Well, I would have free room and board ... in prison.

Well, I am "dragging my feet" concerning the homeless decision. Instead of making various phone calls while I still have the cheap "smartphone," I opted to procure a cup of coffee at the fast food joint in town. The coffee, albeit crappy, is half the price of the snobbish coffee shop. And, free wireless Net access is available, so I can compose the "blog." I should also mention that I have observed a spike in the number of older homeless people, most of them being senior citizens. Quite appalling.

I have gotten used to the detached studio in Waimanalo. As I stated previously, it's pretty nice. However, it is not a complete studio. There's a kitchenette, but it has no refrigerator or cooking appliances. There's a refrigerator and microwave oven in the adjacent carport, though. The studio is still being used partially for storage, so not all of the space is available to me. After all, it is only temporary housing. In town, a similar studio would command over $1,000 per month in rent. I am paying $650 per month.

Oh, I neglected to mention that I have seen Ann waiting at the bus stop near Kalama Valley a couple of mornings during my commute to Hawai'i Kai. So, Ann is apparently still residing in the studio that she pays $1,050 per month. I would assume that she has resumed wage slavery somewhere. In any case, I expect her to be in yet another crisis within a year. The psychological toll on Ann of being in and out of wage slavery abuse in addition to her shaky finances has been high, but she keeps going back for more. That's an indication of how much fear the rank-and-file peons have of homelessness.

The day? Same ol' shit. Tentatively, I have decided to hold off on my evening outings to Kahala until the homeless decision is finalized. In the meantime, I remain in limbo or purgatory, depending on interpretation. Sheesh!

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